Celebrate Recovery Step 9 How to Make Amends and Forgive

Firstly, it allows the person in recovery to separate themselves from the disease of addiction, recognizing that their past actions were not a reflection of their actual values and character. When making an AA amendment, it’s important to apologize sincerely, be humble, accept responsibility for your actions, admit fault, change your behavior, and make an effort to rebuild trust. Are you looking for guidance on writing an AA amends script that effectively guides you along what can sometimes lead to uncomfortable, sticky situations? Our comprehensive approach includes recovery support services, counseling, and resources for making a sincere apology and working through the amends process.

Focus on your behavior.

Eventually you will find you are making amends day by day through the positive actions you routinely take in living by Twelve Step principles. It’s also important to take great care when making amends to someone who is in active addiction because our primary responsibility is to safeguard our own health and recovery from substance abuse. If making an amends means exposing ourselves to triggering environments, we ought to reconsider and discuss healthy alternatives with a sponsor or addiction counselor. For example, we might intend to go to a friend’s birthday party, but in actuality, we fail to show up for the event.

• An apology is expressing regret or saying sorry for causing harm to someone.
• Offers detox, residential, and outpatient care minutes from Venice Beach with treatment that helps clients live life to the fullest without drugs or alcohol.
• While it’s challenging to admit that you caused someone else pain, you must keep moving forward and concentrate on the things you have the power to change, not what you can’t.
• Talking with your sober community about your history with drugs or alcohol can help you identify what you need to make amends for.
• Reflecting on previous attempts at making amends can provide valuable insights and learning opportunities for more effective amends in the future.

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However, in the context of grief recovery, David Kessler, in his book Finding Meaning, talks about the importance of living amends as a tool for grief healing. In particular, he discusses how to heal when the person we need to make amends with is no longer living. Making amends with the people you’ve fallen out with as you’re thinking about mortality and what happens when you die is one way of finding emotional freedom and closure. But what happens when the person you need to make amends with dies before you’re able to apologize and change your ways? Unfortunately, this scenario plays out much too often in the lives of people who didn’t get a chance to correct their mistakes and past behaviors in time. Sometimes, making direct amends with someone may lead to further harm.

The Ongoing Nature & Power of Making Amends in Recovery

• Be willing to accept any consequences—no matter how severe.
• Step 9 of AA’s 12-step program directs people in recovery to take accountability for actions that may have harmed others and to make amends when possible.
• Additionally, making amends reinforces an individual’s commitment to sobriety and personal growth.
• Celebrate Recovery Step 9 will introduce forgiveness in recovery.
• As the person in recovery continues to grow and evolve, they may uncover additional relationships or harms that require attention and repair.

You don’t always have to send it, but an exercise like this can be very healing. Each program is designed to exceed industry standards and provide the highest quality care. Calls to any general helpline will be answered or returned by one of the treatment providers listed, each of which is a paid advertiser. The first step is to know that your questions and feelings are normal. Here are some suggestions on what to do—and say—when making amends. They need to know that they can count on you and trust you again.

Expressing genuine remorse and even regret for the pain caused is a key element. Approaching individuals when they are open to dialogue increases the likelihood of a positive interaction. Mindfulness of both parties’ emotional states ensures constructive amends, fostering healing and resolution. It’s important to be in a state of readiness, both emotionally and mentally, before reaching out. Assess whether the person you’re approaching is prepared to engage in the conversation about amends, as it can significantly impact living amends meaning the outcome. An amends letter can be a powerful way to communicate intentions when direct communication is not possible.

How To Make 9th Step Amends In Recovery

Celebrate Recovery Step 9 will introduce forgiveness in recovery. In order to do this, you’ll need to forgive yourself and those you are offering amends to. Another example would be of a person who’s been a taker all their lives suddenly decides they no longer want to be self-centered and selfish. They may choose to make living amends by promising to change their ways and become more helpful to others. Another example is a substance or alcohol-addicted adult child who regularly steals money, jewelry, and other valuable items from their elderly parent’s home. However, they may suddenly feel guilty and decide to change their ways.

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• That’s because it attempts to rectify the outward consequences of the disease.
• Many alcoholics in early sobriety struggle with how to make direct amends for certain offenses against others.
• After years of being bossy and overbearing, my basic apologies meant little.
• Practice accepting other’s responses to your efforts and remember that you have done all you can.

Try not to respond with anger or defensiveness if others aren’t responsive to your efforts. They have been hurt by your actions, and they may not be willing to forgive and forget. They may have been hurt in ways that you were not able to identify when preparing to make amends. Making amends does not necessarily depend on your ability to connect with a person or how they respond to you. In Alcoholics Anonymous, making alcoholism symptoms amends must be completed to finish the steps.

For example, if you are estranged from a loved one and they will not see you, your indirect amends may involve reflecting on and modifying the behaviors that led to the estrangement. Making direct amends means actively confronting your behavior with the person who you harmed. In some cases, simply opening up a conversation with a friend or family member about your history of alcohol use can begin the process of making amends. At Pillars Recovery, helping you heal from your substance use disorder is our primary goal. We will meet you wherever you are on your journey and determine the best treatment plan for you from our full continuum of care. We know there is no one-size-fits-all solution to managing the disease of addiction, and that’s why we take a personalized approach with every client.